[general trigger warning: abuse, sexual abuse]

The concept of “unconditional love” has been used against a lot of us. Abusers have used it as an excuse for their actions. Many survivors, myself included, have internalized this message of unquestioning love as the only kind of love that is okay, even when they aren’t okay. “They hurt me, but I still love them, because love is supposed to be unconditional”.

But love shouldn’t be self-destructive. Love shouldn’t erase a person’s right to not be hurt. Love shouldn’t remove a person’s ability to refuse consent. These are basic ideas that we should all believe in, but there are a lot of people out there who don’t. Fact is, their idea of unconditional love is really just, “you belong to me”.

When we say “unconditional love”, what we should be saying is “unconditional love, within reason”. There are some actions that go beyond reasonable love. Abuse is one of them.

Reason #123: Love should be unconditional, within reason  (via fromonesurvivortoanother)

(via fromonesurvivortoanother)